2017年11月11日 雅思写作范文解析 |
小作文 |
类型 | 柱图 |
题目 | The charts below show the protein and calorie intakes of people in different parts of the world. Compare and contrast. |
范文解析 | 本题属于柱图组合类别。考生在处理信息时务必做到区分重点和次重点以免数值论述过多,造成模糊数据特征。此外，在段落划分方面，组合图形基本可以遵循 “一图一段” 的方法。（此处不考虑特殊情况） |
高分表达（范文中已用红色标注） | It is noticeable that… | 明显的是… |
be almost double that of… | 几乎是…的两倍 |
be approximately at half of… | 几乎是…的一半 |
share the same amount of | 有同样的量 |
regarding to… | 至于… |
stand at… | 到达… |
close to… | 接近… |
Overall, it can be seen that | 总的来说，可以看出… |
范文 | The bar charts compare the average amount of protein and calorie intake by people from four regions of the world. It is noticeable that people in North America take most protein into their bodies, with 62 grams of animal protein and 18 grams of other protein and the overall quantity is almost double that of protein intake by Latin American (45grams). Meanwhile, their animal protein intake is approximately at half of that by North American. However, the intake of protein in India and East Africa is much less, at around 30 grams among which they share the same amount of other protein intake ( 15grams). Regarding to average intake of calories, the figure for North America is over the ideal calorie intake, standing at 3500 kilocalories and for Latin America is 2800 kilocalories, close to ideal intake ( 3000 kilocalories). By contrast, there are only 2000 kilocalories intake for people in India. Overall, it can be seen that average intake of protein and calories of North American both exceed the ideal standards whereas that for Indian are the lowest among those areas. |
字数 | 182 words |
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大作文 |
类型 | 社会类 |
题目 | Online shopping is replacing shopping in stores. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? |
范文解析 | 本文属于社会生活类话题。讨论关于网络购物取代实体购物的利弊。考生在思考论点时应该不会存在困难，毕竟网购已经成为了现代生活的一部分。但是在处理好处或者坏处的论点时最好能够梳理出一个清晰的层次，例如商家或者买家角度。这样主体段的思路和论述能更加有条理。 |
文章结构 | paragraph 1 :结合时代背景引入话题且表明自己的观点。 paragraph 2: 论述网络购物的优点。（分为买家和卖家两个层面） paragraph 3: 论述网络购物的缺点。（分为买家和实体商家两个层面） paragraph 4: 总结上文论点，强调自己的观点以及如何避免缺点。 |
高分话题表达（范文中已用红色标注） | physical shops | 实体常见 |
vendors | 供应商 |
diminish | 减少 |
be free of charge | 免费 |
utility bills | 物业账单 |
launch new products | 发布新产品 |
find bargains | 淘便宜货 |
shopping pattern | 购物模式 |
To commence with, … | 首先, … |
irrational or excessive consumption | 不理智的过度的消费 |
resist the temptation | 抵御诱惑 |
something failing to meet their real demands | 没有满足他们要求的东西 |
bankrupt | 破产 |
consequent | 随之发生的 |
aggravate the burden on… | 加剧…的负担 |
the boom of online transaction | 在线交易的繁荣 |
unstoppable and irreversible | 无法停止的和不可逆转的 |
boost the prosperity of national economy | 促进国家经济的繁荣 |
In an attempt to… | 尝试… |
unnecessary consumption | 不必要的消费 |
高分结构（范文中已用蓝色标注） | With the advent of…, …has been dramatically changed. | 随着…的产生, …得到了很大的改变 |
…can benefit from this tendency, though several drawbacks cannot be underestimated. | 尽管有一些无法轻视的缺点，…仍可以从中受益。 |
The most advantageous is that… | 最大的优势是… |
Conversely, there also exist some defects about… | 相反地，关于…仍然有一些缺点。 |
范文 | With the advent of internet, people’s way of shopping has been dramatically changed. Online shopping is thriving and taking the place of shopping in physical shops. Undeniably, both consumers and sellers can benefit from this tendency though several drawbacks can not be underestimated. From the perspective of vendors, the budget for running business is diminished considerably for the reason that the rent for a shop online is quite cheaper and some are even free of charge; besides, there is no need for them to pay for utility bills. The most advantageous is that their commodities can be introduced to a wider range of people. As long as sellers launch new products, consumers no matter at home or abroad are able to search it by searching engines within seconds. In this case, they are likely to gain huge profits from the high sales of goods. As for buyers, it is achievable to purchase whatever they need without going out. Unlike the past, the only thing they need do is to pick out items and click the button for payment. Furthermore, they may easily compare the price and features of products, as well as find bargains, buying the ideal goods with less cost. Conversely, there also exist some defects about this shopping pattern. To commence with, it may lead to irrational or excessive consumption. Shopping can be done anywhere at daytime or night, with diverse commodities available from the whole world. Under such circumstance, it is hard for consumers to resist the temptation and easier to buy something failing to meet their real demands. What’s worse, owners of physical stores are facing bankrupt. Statistics show that there were 22 shopping centers closed in Shanghai in the first half year of 2016. The consequent unemployment aggravates the burden on government. In conclusion, as far as I am concerned the boom of online transaction is unstoppable and irreversible and it boosts the prosperity of national economy. In an attempt to avoid unnecessary consumption, shoppers had better think twice before making decisions of purchase. |
字数 | 339 words |
