|
If you want to teach your children how to say sorry, you must be good at saying it yourself, especially to your own children. But how you say it can be quite tricky.
If you say to your children “I’m sorry I got angry with you, but ...” what follows that “but” can render the apology ineffective: “I had a bad day” or “your noise was giving me a headache” leaves the person who has been injured feeling that he should be apologizing for his bad behavior in expecting an apology.
Another method by which people appear to apologize without actually doing so is to say “I’m sorry you’re upset”; this suggests that you are somehow at fault for allowing yourself to get upset by what the other person has done.
Then there is the general, all covering apology, which avoids the necessity of identifying a specific act that was particularly hurtful or insulting, and which the person who is apologizing should promise never to do again. Saying “I’m useless as a parent” does not commit a person to any specific improvement.
These pseudo-apologies are used by people who believe saying sorry shows weakness, Parents who wish to teach their children to apologize should see it as a sign of strength, and therefore not resort to these pseudo-apologies.
But even when presented with examples of genuine contrition, children still need help to become a ware of the complexities of saying sorry. A three-year-old might need help in understanding that other children feel pain just as he does, and that hitting a playmate over the head with a heavy toy requires an apology. A six-year-old might need reminding that spoiling other children’s expectations can require an apology. A 12-year-old might need to be shown that raiding the biscuit tin without asking permission is acceptable, but that borrowing a parent’s clothes without permission is not.
36. If a mother adds “but” to an apology, ________.
A) she doesn’t feel that she should have apologized
B) she does not realize that the child has been hurt
C) the child may find the apology easier to accept
D) the child may feel that he owes her an apology（D）
37. According to the author, saying “I’m sorry you’re upset” most probably means “________".
A) You have good reason to get upset
B) I’m aware you’re upset, but I’m not to blame
C) I apologize for hurting your feelings
D) I’m at fault for making you upset（B）
38. It is not advisable to use the general, all-covering apology because ________.
A) it gets one into the habit of making empty promises
B) it may make the other person feel guilty
C) it is vague and ineffective
D) it is hurtful and insulting（C）
39. We learn from the last paragraph that in teaching children to say sorry ________.
A) the complexities involved should be ignored
B) their ages should be taken into account
C) parents need to set them a good example
D) parents should be patient and tolerant（B）
40. It can be inferred from the passage that apologizing properly is ________.
A) a social issue calling for immediate attention
B) not necessary among family members
C) a sign of social progress
D) not as simple as it seems（D）
本文的材料主要内容是告诫父母们如何教导孩子向人道歉，具有很强的社会实用性，也因为这一功能，文章的遣词造句较为平易，使用谆谆教诲的口吻，可使人把阅读的注意力放在告诫的内容上。
全文材料一共6段，按照告诫的内容可分为两大部分。第一部分是一至五段，讲的是父母应该如何言传身教，在需要的时候真诚地向孩子道歉，从而起到榜样作用。最后一段讲述父母们应该使孩子们明白在何种情境下需要道歉。
第一段指出父母在教导孩子如何道歉时应当首先给孩子做出榜样（you must be good at saying it yourself），点出本文的主要内容，而后以it can be quite tricky作为详细讲述如何做出榜样的总起句。后面的二到四段分别列举了三种不适宜的道歉方式，第一种是在sorry后面接but解释道歉的原因，这会降低道歉的效果（"but” can render the apology ineffective）；第二种是I’m sorry you’re upset，暗含对方主动给了别人进行烦扰的机（at fault for allowing yourself to get upset by what the other person has done）；第三种是道歉过于空泛（general），这种方式往往不会对孩子形成具体的指导（does not commit a person to any specific improvement）。
第五段分析了父母们采用上述道歉方式的心理原因：shows weakness，即认为道歉是示弱的表现。随后作者提出了解决方案：should see it as a sign of strength，即把道歉视为一种力量的表现。
最后一段讨论了另外一个话题——告诉孩子在什么情境下需要道歉。对此，作者以三岁、六岁和十二岁小孩为例具体进行了解释。
36. D
题目问如果一个母亲在道歉之后又说了"but”，将会怎样。在道歉后说but也就是解释道歉的理由。
A，说明她觉得不应该道歉。
B，说明她没有意识到孩子已经受到了伤害。
C，那么孩子或许会觉得道歉更容易接受。
D，那么孩子或许会觉得他也应该向母亲道歉。
本题考查对第二段的理解。第二段首先指出在道歉之后说 but的直接结果：what follows that “but” can render the apology ineffective，but后面的话可能会使道歉无法产生效果。而后作者对出现这一结果的原因做了解释，以“我今天过得不好”、“你吵闹的声音让我头 疼”这二句为例，说明这些话会让孩子认为"he should be apologizing for his bad behavior in expecting an apology”，意思是他也应该为引来父母的道歉而表示道歉。四个选项中含有这个意思的是D。
37. B
本题问根据作者的观点，I’m sorry you’re upset最可能的意思是什么。
A，你有很好的烦恼的理由。
B，我知道你很烦恼，但这不应责怪我。
C，我为伤害了你的感情道歉。
D，使你烦恼是我的错。
这个句子出现在第三段：Another method by which people appear to apologize without actually doing so is to say “I’m sorry you’re upset”; this suggests that you are somehow at fault for allowing yourself to get upset by what the other person has done。这里一共两个句子，第一句举出“表面道歉实际没有道歉”的另一个例子，即I’m sorry you’re upset。第二句分析了这句话暗含的意思。前半句you are somehow at fault for基本呈现出了主谓宾结构，“你是有错的，因为……”for后面是“你也有错”的原因。原因是Allowing yourself to get upset by what the other person has done，直译过来是“允许你自己变得烦恼，被其他人的所作所为”，与全句联系起来的意思是“因为别人做了某事，你就变得烦恼，对此你自己是有责任的”，言下之意是换个人面对这种事就不会烦恼，你烦恼只能是你的错。
C和D的说法都认为错误在到道歉人的一方，可以首先排除。B的说法与上面的分析一致，而A的意思在本句中是无法体现的。
38. C
本题问道歉过于空泛并不是明智之举，原因是什么。
A，这会使人养成空做承诺的习惯。
B，这会使对方感到内疚。
C，这种道歉意思含混，没有效果。
D，这种道歉具有伤害性和侮辱性。
文章第四段谈到了这个问题。第四段的段意分为两个部分，第一部分是个结构复杂的长句，用两个which引导的从句举出空泛道歉的两种例子。第一个例子是并不说明自己的哪一行为带有伤害或侮辱对方的意思（由此可知D的理解是错误的）；第二个例子是只笼统说自己再也不会这样了，也就是不具体指出到底不会怎么样了（由此可知A的理解是错误的）。第四段的第二部分道出空泛的道歉之所以不明智是因为它does not commit a person to any specific improvement，即“并不能使人做出具体的改进”，也就是说道歉过于空泛，使人不知道该在哪里改进，也就谈不上改进。C的说法含有这个意思。
39. B
本题问从最后一段可以得知，在教育孩子道歉的问题上如何如何。
A，相关复杂性应该被忽略。
B，应该把他们的年龄考虑进去。
C，父母们需要给他们树立榜样。
D，父母们应该有耐心，多容忍。
最后一段讲的是如何告诉孩子识别应当道歉的情境。最后一段第一句话对此做了提示：children still need help to become aware of the complexities of saying sorry，意思是孩子们需要帮助来明白道歉的复杂性。但这一句的意义表达并不十分清晰，通过后来作者所举的三个例子，可知这句话的意思是孩子在分辨什么情况下该道歉什么情况下不需道歉的时候需要帮助。这样就排除了A，而C的说法是前5段的内容，D的说法在第四段里没有相关内容。第四段以三个年龄的孩子为例进行论述，这就说明应当把年龄问题加以考虑，B的说法正确。
40. D
本题问从这篇材料可以推断出，适宜的道歉方式是……
A，一个急需关注的社会问题。本文讨论的是父母该如何指导孩子道歉，主要论述道歉技巧问题，没有把道歉方式上升到社会问题，“急需关注”的社会问题就更谈不上了。
B，在家庭成员之间不是必需的。文中举出了很多例子来说明父母应以正确的方式来向孩子道歉，可见在作者看来家庭成员之间合适的道歉绝对不能说是可有可无的。
C，社会进步的表现。文章没有提到适宜的道歉方式与社会进步有什么关系。
D，并不像看上去那么简单。前五段一开始指出父母向孩子道歉时应该讲究技巧，所用的词是tricky，而后用了数段具体讲述应当如何讲究技巧，可见适宜的道歉方式并不简单。而父母们往往做不好这一点，即是因为它看似简单，所以D的说法是正确的。
相关资料
| 
